How to be happy is a question we have asked ourselves for lifetimes. A lot of what we do daily is our attempt to find happiness and try to recreate past moments that have made us happy.
But what if there was a way to be happy all the time? Literally ALL THE TIME. You lose a job or a client, happy. When you end a romantic relationship, happy. If you perceive that something was stolen from you, HAPPY!
You get my point. The questions we’ll explore in this article are:
- How does society currently define happiness?
- What is happiness really?
- Can unceasing happiness be achieved?
- Would you really want to be happy all the time if you could?
- How to do it?
I will also give a bonus tip on how you can instantly boost your mood.
By the end of this article, not only will you be happier for having read it, you may even begin to see the world in a new color.
Let’s start at the beginning.
How does society currently define happiness?
According to the Google dictionary, happiness is the state of being happy. Duh! So what’s happy. According to the same dictionary, the word happy means feeling or showing pleasure or contentment.
Here’s a few more just to get on the same page:
- Pleasure – a feeling of happy satisfaction and enjoyment
- Contentment – a state of happiness and satisfaction
- Satisfaction – fulfillment of one’s wishes, expectations, or needs, or the pleasure derived from this
- Enjoyment – the state or process of taking pleasure in something or the action of possessing and benefiting from something
- Something – a thing that is unspecified or unknown
I also do computer programming from time to time and I’m going to do the nerdiest thing ever. I’m going to substitute the definitions for the word like it’s a computer variable to see what we come up with.
- Happiness is the state of being feeling/showing pleasure or contentment.
- Happiness is the state of being feeling/showing a feeling of happy satisfaction and enjoyment or a state of happiness and satisfaction.
The last part is saying the same thing so we’ll scratch that out.
- Happiness is the state of being feeling/showing a feeling of happy satisfaction and enjoyment or a state of happiness and satisfaction.
- Happiness is the state of being feeling/showing a feeling of happy fulfillment of one’s wishes, expectations, or needs, or the pleasure derived from this and the state or process of taking pleasure in something or the action of possessing and benefiting from something.
This is getting complicated, but we’re getting somewhere.
The new definitions of happiness
It looks like the dictionary’s definition of happiness is one of two things.
- Setting an expectation and then meeting it.
- Taking or possessing something that you benefit from.
And if we substituted the word something with its definition, the above would be:
- Setting an expectation and then meeting it.
- Taking or possessing a thing that is unspecified or unknown that you benefit from.
This is very interesting. The first definition of happiness implies that you set the standard for what happiness is. The second definition implies that you have no idea what thing or things would make you happy.
No wonder people can’t “find” happiness. It’s because they don’t know what they are looking for, which is also just an idea they created for themselves.
Are you with me or did I go too deep too fast? “That’s what she said!” Sorry, I couldn’t resist. It made me “happy” to do it. 😁
In other words, you have the power to create what happiness is for you.
So if, for example, you decide that happiness is having a million dollars in your bank account, you won’t be happy until you achieve it. Similarly, if you define happiness as just having a bank account, then as long as you have one you will always be happy.
This is all, however, assuming the dictionary’s definition of happiness is correct.
Even according to that same dictionary, we don’t know what happiness is. So could we truly “know” anything else?
What is happiness really?
One thing is for certain. Everyone has experienced happiness at some point. Even if at an unliked job or in the presence of a loved one, we’ve all had a glimpse of bliss.
Travel with me to one of those blissful moments.
- Close your eyes.
- Select one of those moments.
- Then open your eyes again.
What did you notice about when you were in that blissful moment?
You may have noticed that you didn’t have a care in the world. No matter what anyone said or did, you found a way to share your happiness with another. Soon you were joined with that person in that happiness, even if for a second.
What can we use from this information?
Quite a few things, actually.
The first thing is that time was not a factor at that moment. We weren’t reveling in our past to relive a moment as we just did. We weren’t even thinking about our future. We were fully engaged at that moment. In doing so, we received all the pleasure that moment had to offer.
The second thing is that no matter what someone said or how our environment was, we never let anything diminish our happiness. We actually increased it by giving it freely to another.
This is actually perfectly aligned with the original definition as recorded by Google. Happiness is the state of being happy.
You may have already realized, I missed an important phrase within that definition, state of being.
Photo by Josue & Kerry of Friday Feels Production
I believe to know what the state of being is, but let’s double-check.
- being – existence or the nature or essence of a person.
- existence – the fact or state of living or having objective reality.
- essence – the intrinsic nature or indispensable quality of something, especially something abstract, that determines its character.
That got complicated real fast.
In layman’s terms, we cannot explain our existence. We just know that we exist.
Now, what if we combine the state of being with timelessness or with being fully rooted in the present moment? This means that you fully accept what is happening right now.
This may not even be able to be correctly executed because who we think we are is a collection of our past. So even our view of now is altered.
Let’s not go down that road yet. Instead, let’s compare other extreme states of being such as sadness, madness, and scaredness.
Exploring other states of being
Sadness is a state where you’re sad about something that happened in the past. The same with madness. If it were happening to you now, you would be more concerned with changing it then dwelling in it. So those aren’t a true state of “being”.
How about scaredness. It’s when you’re afraid of something or someone. To be afraid of something or someone, you must have defined it as a threat. That also exists in time. The only way we could be afraid of something is if we heard a frightening story about it or we experienced firsthand in the past something we perceive like it.
Back to the state of happiness
With happiness, however, there’s nothing to compare it to. We’re just happy. We could even hypothesize that happiness is our natural state of being or even the only state of being.
Some of the happiest humans in the world that we know are babies and children. It’s how we get the saying, “Ignorance is bliss.” We are so conceited as to think we know a secret about life, yet we’re the ones that aren’t happy all the time.
Even our old are rejuvenated in the presence of happy children.
Yet we teach kids of time and its effects, which seems to take away from their happiness throughout time. Or more accurately stated, people give away their happiness to time.
Happiness is really as Google stated. It’s the state of being happy.
We can even enter this state at any moment by letting go of the past and any idea of the future.
But is this sustainable? Can we achieve a constant neverending state of happiness?
Can unceasing happiness be achieved?
Based on what we believe to know about happiness, this is possible, but it will take practice. 
Remember:
- The thoughts that we think are in fact influenced by our beliefs.
- The words we speak are influenced by our thoughts.
- Our actions are influenced by our words.
- Our habits are influenced by our actions, which become part of our beliefs.
Beliefs and habits aren’t as easy to recognize or control as much as our thoughts, words, and actions.
We know that we need to do two things in order to be happy.
- Be in the moment (don’t be thinking about the past or the future).
- Think happy thoughts.
The first of those two will definitely help, but the second seems incomplete or a bit off.
The problem is that most of our beliefs are based on past beliefs that may or may not be true. So what we consider to be a happy thought could be working against us.
For example, someone could think a happy thought would be to slap someone upside the head and cause him or her pain because it’s perceived that they deserve it.
As we have discovered earlier with happiness, the more you give of something, the more of it you have to give. Those that gave happiness freely increased their own because now their environment reflected it back.
So to give anything but happiness to another is to receive it.
Happiness rewrite
Let’s rewrite the two things that need to be done for unceasing happiness.
- Be in the moment (don’t “be” thinking about the past or the future).
- Give happiness always (don’t “be” giving words/actions of attack or judgment).
That’s a little better, but there’s still a question that remains unanswered.
How do you give happiness? Well, you give happiness the same way you give anything else, with love.
Giving implies you don’t expect anything in return. Although you know it will be returned because it will create a ripple effect in your world that adapts to what you gave it.
So even when we give an attack, it’s with love. We’re saying we love to attack and we wish to receive it (or be attacked) as well one day.
This is insane thinking when you think about it. Yet this is what we create with our words and actions.
It seems that the only way to give happiness is to have the happiness to give. And in order to have the happiness to give, we must be happy.
That brings us back to our original definition once again, the state of being happy.
Is it really that easy? Just. Be. Happy.
…
I am pausing the writing of this article to “be happy” for the next 24 hours.
To symbolize this break, take a listen.
Wow! The results of my 24-hour experiment were enlightening indeed. More on that later.
For now, let’s answer this. Would you really want to be happy all the time if you could?
Do you want to be happy all the time, really?
The obvious answer should be, “YES!” But for many, there’s resistance.
This resistance is a clue to your current state of being. You value non-happiness more than happiness.
How could this be, especially when everyone enjoys happiness?
As we learned above, the hierarchy of our being is beliefs > thoughts > words > actions > habits > character > beliefs.
By thinking thoughts of non-happiness or speaking those words, it becomes a part of who you are. You habitually value non-happiness.
Since your values have now become skewed, you may often resent the happy person.
To be happy all the time means you smile often. It means that you see others as loving human beings no matter the face they portray. To be happy all the time means you enjoy every second of every day.
Before you started reading this, were you enjoying your day? What about yesterday?
Actually, don’t answer that. There’s no value in previous moments. Or better yet, this moment will always be more valuable than any other moment.
Instead of asking do you want to be happy all the time, let’s ask something more aligned with your beliefs.
Are you ready to try to be happy all the time? Are you ready to try and try again until it is your reality?
For me, the answer is yes. Join me in my pursuit of this endless state of bliss.
How to be happy all the time no matter what
So now we’re getting to what we all want to know, how to be happy, and how to keep this happiness forever.
I’ll start with the 24-hour experiment I mentioned above.
Throughout that day I checked in within myself constantly to ask myself, “Are you choosing happiness at this moment?
A lot of the time, the answer was no. This was a big wake up call for me. No wonder I wasn’t being happy. I wasn’t choosing to be happy.
So I compiled a list of things you can do that will lead to you being happy all the time. Memorize this. I will go into further details of each item including making affirmations of these.
- Ask yourself multiple times a day, “Am I choosing happiness at this moment?”
- Stay firmly rooted in the moment.
- Surround yourself with happiness.
- Give only happiness to others.
- Forgive.
Ask yourself multiple times a day, “Am I choosing happiness at this moment?”
Out of all the steps, this is the most important and takes the most effort. As long as you continuously ask yourself this, all the other steps will fall into place.
So do what you need to do. Here are some suggestions:
- Put sticky-note reminders everywhere (near your bed, on your bathroom mirror, as your phone’s background image, etc.)
- Set your intention just before sleeping and just after waking to ask yourself if you are being happy.
- Ask a friend to be your accountability partner where you remind each other all day long.
- Download a task app and a put reminder in your phone that pops up every 30 minutes.
Ask Nike and Shia LaBeouf have said, “Just do it!”
Stay firmly rooted in the moment.
It’s so easy for our minds to wander to moments that aren’t here. It could be to thoughts of the past or thoughts of a non-existent future.
Whichever the case, those moments are not here.
Train your mind through practice to stay here, now.
I know. This means not sharing your painful story with others. It means not speculating what could possibly happen if you make a “mistake”.
You will be fully untethered to anything, yet free to experience everything.
Surround yourself with happiness.
Do a check of your environments in order to determine what your mind eats.
Yes, a mind can eat. It takes in many images, words, and ideas per day.
Really listen to the music you’re listening to. Are the words expressing more happiness or are they sewing seeds of separation?
Many that listen to my songs have expressed how they were able to become happier people almost overnight.
This is mostly because my songs are written in a way that shows you your thoughts for what they really are. You’ll be able to distinguish the real from the illusion.
There’s nothing to feel bad about when it comes to believing false-truths. We’ve all been there and they are the easiest things to overcome.
Give only happiness to others.
I read an interesting quote from the book A Course in Miracles. “What you perceive in others, you strengthen in yourself.”
This is another way of saying you reap what you sew. It is also another way of saying Newton’s Third Law: for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
We can now see the relationship between giving and receiving.
If we give happiness to others, we will receive it back from others. Happiness will be reflected to us at every turn.
Sometimes to get what we think we want, we give guilt to others. We give attack and pain.
To give these things is to strengthen the idea of them within ourselves. We are telling ourselves that things like guilt, attack, and pain are precious and worthy to be shared.
Then we wonder why we receive them so frequently.
This can be undone easily by only giving what you want.
Love all with all of your heart and you will receive love.
Forgive.
Since everyone is led by different desires it’s not possible for each to know what’s best for another, especially when you are not in your own happy state.
So to judge a thing is to create the way that makes you unhappy. And if you make 30 judgments per day, for example, you now have 30 things that won’t ever bring you happiness. Multiply that by 365 and in one year you have 10,950 ways to be unhappy.
If you’re older than 10, then you possibly have more than 100,000 ways to NOT be happy. That’s no fun.
Focus only on what you want, not what you don’t.
Forgiveness is the way to rejoin what was separated through judgment.
It’s easy to let go of judgment because you don’t know for sure if what you’ve judged is correct or not. You only see the world through your eyes.
By being accepting of all, you will always be accepted by all.
8 Affirmations To Say To Stay Happy
I went ahead and made a list of affirmations out of the above list to help you remain in your natural state of happiness. Say these 8 to yourself twice a day, every day.
- I only share happiness with others because I can only share what I possess.
- Right now I am choosing to be happy.
- I am surrounded by happiness.
- I am here now.
- I am happiness.
- I am forgiving.
- I am forgiven.
- I am happy.
You can combine them with this list of 7 affirmations you should say daily and really watch your life transform.
Bonus Tip
Set aside 5 minutes a day to reflect on everything you are grateful for. This is an instant mood booster.
Get Help Staying Happy
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