Parables are stories that are used to illustrate spiritual lessons and truth.

Jesus was reported as using parables when he taught of God.

This particular parable that I will be presenting to you is my second one ever. The first is on the song “I Can’t Do This Without You” featured on my album IAMNOBODY, IAMSOMEONE.

The painting in the cover photo is courtesy of Kris D. of Kris D. Photography.

Without further ado, the parable of the painting.

The Painting

A painter paints a painting for a purpose.

The painting becomes conscious and starts to judge the world and thus itself.

The painting perceives negativity, wrongness, and hate.

But how could the painting know all of this? It is not the painting’s purpose to judge.

So the painting becomes miserable & unhappy. Everywhere the painting seems to look, it perceives more danger.

Yet the entire time, the painter is marveling at the painting’s beauty. The painter hangs the painting high for the world to see. The painter makes sure the painting is protected and always clean.

The painting feels guilty because it thinks it is unworthy of the painter’s praise. It tries to hide itself. It creates a world that only it sees filled with negative paintings and colors.

The painting no longer hears or sees the painter, but knows deep down that the painter is there.

Finally, the painting has enough and commits suicide. But how? The painting cannot die as that is not the painting’s purpose.

With wiped memories, the painting repeats the cycle of judgment and death over and over again until finally, it has a revelation.

The painting realizes it can only be beautiful because that is what it is made for.

The painting forgives the judgments it made about the world and realizes that the painting itself is the world. The painting began to extend its painter’s love to all and saw the world of a new color.

The painting began teaching this to other paintings and pretty soon they all noticed how masterful their gallery was. They even could interact with the painter again to influence the painter to make more.

The end.

Explanation of the parable

In The Painting parable, the painter is God. You are the painting.

In reality, you cannot do anything outside of your purpose, but in your own mind, you try.

You also cannot be harmed, but again in your own mind, you try.

In this trying, you manifest your own world in which you act out these things. You make characters to play your enemies, even among those you love.

You continue this cycle because you love what you have made just as God loves what He created, you.

Although what you have made seems to always be a slave to time, you continue to try to make what is temporary permanent.

This is a fool’s errand because what is temporary can never be permanent and what is permanent can never be temporary.

Until you realize what you have made can never last, you will be consumed by it.

By practicing forgiveness and forgetfulness of what you have made, you can be in full remembrance of both God and Yourself.

And with the knowledge of God, what is there that you could ever be without?

Nothing.

What is nothing is not real.

You are something. You are real. You are a perfect creation made by a Perfect Creator.

The Parable in Song Form

The post The Painting: A Modern-Day Parable appeared first on JClay.

Ever since man has taken breath, there has been idol worship. Some see this as a “sin” and others don’t even realize they’re worshipping something.

The effects of idol-worship can be seen in a variety of illnesses, both mental and physical. That which you idolize becomes a source of your wellbeing. Therefore if what you idolize is limited in any way, your experience will be that of lack.

By removing the cause, you render their effects ineffective.

Let’s talk about the cause.

What Are Idols & What Is Idol Worship?

Abrahamic religions, namely Christianity, Judaism, and Islam state that you should not worship someone or something other than God.

These are what idols are…people or things that you consider greater than yourself and/or God.

Worship is the practice of giving honor and glory to your idol.

The word worship is a combination of “worth” and “ship”. It’s the complete body of worth you give a thing.

Within you, you have the power to appreciate. You can give value to many things that are seemingly worthless. Through repetition, it can be confusing to tell the two apart. You start to believe that what you have given worth to is now worth more than yourself, especially if others have given value to the same thing.

Below are 7 idols that you may be worshipping without even realizing it and how they are affecting your life.

1. The Body

The people of the world seem to be fascinated with the human body. The shapes, structure, and feel of it are all beloved by many. Having a body is of course what all people seem to have in common.

People love the body so much that when their idea of the perfect body is not in line with the body they seem to possess, the body then becomes a source of pain and struggle.

By possession, I’m referring to the body that you’re currently operating and the ones you feel are yours through special relationships (ie “my” partner’s body, “my” kid’s body, etc).

This can also appear true to those that have what’s considered a great body. They could create fear around losing it and exhausting great effort to maintain such a body.

In all of the above cases, the body is no longer considered a safe dwelling place, but a symbol of pain.

Even though your mind controls your body, you allow your body to dictate your thoughts. This is clearly backward behavior.

How can one ever find peace & joy, when they seek comfort in an entity that is symbolic for causing and receiving pain?

Withdraw belief in your body as a source of wellness. Recognize it for what it is. Your body is an extension of your awareness. Use it only for what you would have in return.

Use it for love and not attack and you will receive love, not attack.

2. Your Identity

Are you your identity?

Your identity is who you think you are. It’s the thoughts and beliefs you carry into situations.

A lot about your identity is even unknown to you. It could be the way you pronounce words, your word choice, how you feel about wealth, your thoughts against voting, etc.

A couple of years ago I was in London walking down the street at a touristy spot and a drunk guy looked at me and shouted, “Americaaaaannnn…hahahaha!” There were many people from different cultures and races that were in the vicinity. I had not spoken a word, but something about the way I carried myself led him to believe I was American, well United Stadian. He was right. The same can be said for the judgment I made of him in thinking that he was drunk.

Identity itself is not a problem. It’s only when you give tremendous value to who you think you are, that it becomes the problem. You have attached yourself to something that isn’t real and it hinders your abilities.

The reason I say that your identity isn’t real is that it’s constantly changing. How can something that changes have any real substance? It’s here one second and gone the next.

Yet some of your biggest worries come from holding on to this identity. It can prevent you from quitting a job that you hate, dating a person you find extremely attractive, taking on a new hobby that interests you, and more.

Your identity plays tricks on you causing you to question everything like:

• I’ve succeeded at everything, what if I fail at this?
• Am I a hypocrite for wanting something different?
• Will my spouse not like me when I change?
• Will my culture think I’m not real?
• What will my family think?

How can you ever find peace & joy in an identity when the idea of holding on to it, stops you from fully living and expressing yourself in every moment?

Again, your identity is who you think you are. It’s the thoughts and beliefs you carry into situations. But these can change depending on your preferences at any moment. Because of this change, then your identity can never be you. You exist beyond your identity.

Don’t be afraid to shed your limited identity for your unlimited nature. If you’re going to practice idol worship, at least worship your true self.

3. Special Relationships

This one right here, special relationships, is one idol we seemed to be born into. Special relationships are those we put over any other (ie “my” spouse, “my” best friend, “my” parent, “my” teammate, etc.)

Google’s explore page reported the earth’s population in 2018 was 7.5 billion people. In America, the average person knows 600 people and has 9 close friends.

Let’s say you considered all 600 people “special”, that’s less than 1% of the population. In fact, that’s less than 1% of 1% of the population.

The reason I point this out is that by identifying certain individuals as special, you are limiting yourself greatly. You are limiting who you are willing to share with and who can share with you. As a result, you may even fear those that you don’t have a relationship with.

In addition, you may fear the loss of special relationships because you think that it will leave a void within you. Since relationships don’t seem to last past major disagreements or death, you are again placing your value in something that will run out.

Family are just people you are familiar (family-ar) with. Relatives are just people relative to your point of birth. They are not more valuable or special than anyone else. This is not to say that you should not love your family, it’s the opposite. This is to say that you should love everyone as much as you love your family.

This concept explains why it was so easy for you to make friends as a child. You didn’t devalue potential friends by judging them.

How you act towards a person affects how they react toward you. By leading with love, you welcome love.

In this way, your sense of happiness is never tied to a special relationship. If you are apart from another, it won’t be as noticeable because you will always be surrounded by many other loved ones.

The identity in you (ego) is probably saying, “This is sad news for the ones we’re apart from that don’t share this view.” Although this may be true, your identity is not as concerned with that person as it would have you believe. The ego is more concerned with protecting itself and its individuality. I won’t go into that topic in this article. However, I will say that as long as you teach and show others how awesome it is to lead with love, they will never be in a lonely-type situation ever again.

Release your created identity and reassume your natural one.

4. Money

You knew money was going to be on the list about idol worship. People like to claim that they don’t worship money, but that’s only because they are not taking an objective view of their relationship to it.

If you didn’t put money above yourself, you would never work a job that you didn’t like. The next logical thought is, “Well if I don’t make money, I’ll be homeless.” Will you? According to the United States Department of Housing and Urban Development’s 2019 Annual Homeless Assessment Report, 0.17% of the US population were experiencing homelessness. Is this voluntary? We don’t know.

My point is when you make decisions based on money, you are at the mercy of it. No one is happy being controlled 100% of the time.

From the perspective of being unhappy because you have no money, you believe that having money will make you happy. The truth is, money was never your issue. Your issue is that you placed faith in something outside yourself, leaving yourself without faith.

Money is just a tool for cooperation. By being love and seeing all as loving, you will be a very cooperative person.

You won’t be controlled and you won’t seek to control. This will lead to all of your needs being met. But this takes the same faith in yourself that you’ve placed in other things.

5. Conflict

Who values conflict? Certainly not you. Or do you?

Quick test:

1. When someone says either Black Lives Matter or All Lives Matter, are you ready to write that person off in an instant?
2. When someone says they voted for Trump or they voted for Obama, are you ready to call this person ignorant?
3. Are you drawn to television shows that have massive amounts of drama?

If you’ve answered yes to any one of these questions, conflict may be a form of idol worship in your life. This idol is tied closely to the egoic identity. You believe in wrongdoings and that punishment is the only way to atone. Not only do you seek to punish others, you expect punishment for yourself. As a result, you feel a sense of satisfaction when others are punished. This increases your faith in it causing you to worship it even more.

As you can see, conflict is the source of so much pain in your life. In many ways, conflict is pain and vice versa.

When you aren’t so tied to your identity, other’s opinions won’t matter. You’ll know that the truth needs no validation so there’s no point in arguing for it.

6. The World

As much as you would say things against the world, you love it! You wouldn’t change a thing. You would still want all of the corruption and scandalousness, you would just want to be above it.

However, you can’t separate apart from something while you still believe in it because everything real comes from the same source. The rest is simply an illusion. Are you aligned with truth or illusion?

This means that what one can do, all can do. What can affect another, can affect you. But it would be more accurate to say that what you cause seems to affect you and everyone.

You see only what you’ve placed your value in.

By placing value in a world that exists outside of yourself, you are thus investing in hiding from yourself.

You are projecting your beliefs outward to rid yourself of the ones you no longer want. But a projection is but a mirror to the slides within.

To truly be rid of guilt, pain, and shame, you must let these things go, not project them onto others. To project them is to keep them.

To give any attention to any illusion is to attempt to keep it alive. To keep it alive you must idolize it. Without your constant appreciation of it, the world you created would one day lose its value. You would then be free to return to reality, which many have referred to as heaven.

7. Time

You can’t trust time. It’s not always the same. A second is not a second and a day is not a day.

Try being in a place you don’t want to be for an hour while staring at the clock. It will take a lifetime just to complete that hour.

On the other hand (pun intended), try being in a place you want to be for an hour while staring at the clock. You will probably forget to look at the clock because time at this point is meaningless.

Don’t let time dictate where you should be in life. But as long as you believe in time, you might as well make it useful to you.

The more times you perform a specific behavior or set of behaviors, the behaviors become automatic. Use time to forgive and love all. Before you know it, nothing will ever bother you again and time will cease to exist.

It’s “time” to stop idol worship.

You will be above all littleness and ready to accept your abundance.

All Idols

All idols are false and thus idol worship is false. They are symbols of symbols. Symbols are never as good as the real thing. If so, seeing the word chocolate would be as satisfying as eating it.

Place your faith and value in something that never fades. Place it where your faith in it will always be returned in greater amounts.

This “thing” has many names: Love, God, All.

Love is formless. God is eternal. All is well.

How easy it is to let go of the false idols depends on how focused & committed you are.

When you recognize yourself straying, take “time” to place your faith where it could never leave.

The post 7 False Idols Christians Unknowingly Worship appeared first on JClay.

Depression touches more people than we realize—often in ways they’re not even aware of. Whether you’re trying to help a loved one or you’re feeling the weight yourself, this guide offers 10 practical and deeply spiritual ways to support healing. These aren’t surface tips. They’re transformational steps drawn from lived experience, inner work, and the truth that peace is always available, no matter the darkness.

The most important thing to remember is this: Depression is not a death sentence. It’s not a promise of a sad life. And it’s definitely not permanent.

According to Healthline, an estimated 16.2 million adults in the U.S. have experienced major depression. This guide on how to help someone with depression is written for everyone of them—and for those who love them.

If you’re the one struggling, I encourage you to still try these steps for someone else. Helping others is a powerful path to helping yourself, because no one gets out of depression alone.

Let’s dive into what truly helps.

Table of Contents

1. Never Take Anything Personally
2. Treat Them Like the Perfect Self They Are
3. Ask Positive-Ended Questions
4. Send Them “Let Go”
5. Be Your Best Self
6. Learn About Wellness, Not Depression
7. Don’t Say What Not to Do Without Giving Something to Do
8. Have No Expectations
9. Keep in Touch
10. Follow Your Heart

1. Don’t take it personally — it’s not about you

A person who feels depressed and separated from the world is going to say some depressing things. That’s obvious.

What isn’t obvious is your reaction to it.

Remember, it’s never about you, even if they say something that seems insulting. If you can remember this one thing, then you will have made the biggest step toward healing those with depression.

Similarly, since it’s never about you, make everything about them.

Sounds simple enough, except we’re too wrapped in ourselves. The thought of helping another could trigger negative thoughts, such as, “Well, what about me? Why do I have to be the one to help all the time? Why can’t I get help?”

These thoughts deepen the sense of separation, making you feel more like a depressed person and less like yourself.

By making everything about the other person, not only do you change the belief that no one helps, but you also become that belief. You become proof that help is always available & free.

This has numerous positive effects on your life as well. Most importantly, this will lead to you never fearing a situation because you’ll know that no matter what, someone will help you if needed.

But the only way to truly know that is to live it. To live it, you must give it. So give help always without question and hesitation.

You have more awareness and self-control than to react negatively to anyone who says something seemingly negative. Show that by never taking anything personally ever again.

2. Treat them like the perfect self they are

There’s an art to making everything about others.

Your beliefs make up your whole world. When you believe that the world and everyone in it sucks, you’re going to be depressed. When you believe that everything and everyone is love, you’re going to be happy.

A depressed person is going to say things aligned with the idea that the world and themselves are sucky. Look beyond this. The fact that you’re willing to help that person means you already see something greater in him or her.

Speak only to that.

Don’t acknowledge anything seemingly negative. You don’t have to disagree, just don’t agree.

Find ways to speak highly of them. Give examples of their greatness. Remind them of ways they do wonderful things.

By focusing on others in this manner, you, too, will gain a great appreciation for them. Your days will be happier because you get to be in the presence of those you appreciate. The objects of your appreciation will genuinely feel this appreciation and will want to live up to it to continue to receive your favor.

3. Ask positive-ended questions

“How are you doing?” should never be asked when dealing with a seemingly depressed person. They are not doing great.

One variation could be, “What’s good with you?” But this can lead to them replying, “Nothing at all.”

The goal is to get them to talk about themselves positively.

Here are some examples of how to do this:

• “You’ve always been an expert at [blah blah blah], how did you even know to do something like that?”
• “I know that was an interesting year, but what’s your favorite thing that happened in 2020?”
• “What’s one childhood memory that no matter what always made you smile?”

If you’re following me on Instagram, you’re probably like…”Hey, these are things you’re asking us.” Yes, because they work!

Be creative, though, and use your normal way of asking questions.

If you need ideas for questions, here’s a list of Positive Questions To Ask Yourself Daily that can shift the mood instantly.

4. Send them “Let Go”

Let Go is a different kind of hip-hop song for a reason. It allows you to see exactly how you are sabotaging yourself repeatedly.

This resource has been valuable to hundreds of thousands and it will be valuable to your loved ones as well.

This is the song’s link (jclay.org/letgo). Send this to someone you know is depressed.

However, when you send “Let Go”, send it like you would any other song. Don’t send it saying something like, “I know you’re depressed, so listen to this.” Nobody wants to be reminded of their depression.

How to do this?

I would suggest a variation of:

• “OMG, this is the song of the year. Listen to this. I don’t even know what just happened.”
• “Dude, I’m speechless. This song just told me everything I was going through.”
• “Oh snap, we gotta support this dude. Listen to this now.”

Copy this link to your clipboard now so that you can share it when you finish reading this article. (jclay.org/letgo)

To understand how this song works on a deeper level, read the full Let Go lyrics breakdown.

5. Be your best self

This may seem contradictory to what I mentioned that you should make everything about others, but it is not.

Being your best self allows you to be an example. When others see how happy and unaffected by outside circumstances you are, they will get curious. They will want to know how you do what you do.

The irony is, you may be doing this just as an example for them, but it still helps you both.

What does it mean to be your best self?

To be your best self means you listen to your heart. You focus on what is within. You are never without anything. The best way to demonstrate this to yourself is to go within. This will take practice, but start now.

6. Learn about wellness, not depression

Learning about wellness ties to the previous tip. It allows you to practice the tools that help you be your best self.

Although you want to help those with depression, it is not necessary to learn about depression. For example, learning about poverty will never teach you about wealth. It is only when you focus on wealth, you will understand it.

Similarly, you are to learn about wellness because it’s ultimately what you want.

How to start?

Start here with these daily affirmations. You can say these anytime and anywhere out loud or in your head. These affirmations will begin to heal your world at its source.

Read A Course In Miracles (Full Review). This is a real course, complete with daily exercises that will correct your perception. I recommend the physical book and not the audio version. The reason is that this book isn’t a simple read. If you get the audiobook, you will find yourself rewinding, rewinding, and rewinding because each line is that powerful.

Last, teach wellness to others. You can do this verbally and/or by being an example of it. To truly learn something, you must know it so well that you can teach it. To truly teach something, you must learn it.

7. Don’t say what not to do without giving something to do

I feel like there’s a better way to word number 7, I just couldn’t think of it. 

Those with depression are frustrated with their worlds. They want to be out of their depression and are looking for help from anyone and anything willing to provide sound advice on the subject. Even though it’s hard to tell what sound advice is while in a depressed state, they still want guidance.

Saying not to do something does not seem to help because it creates another question. “If I can’t do this, then what do I do?”

To remedy this, always have examples of what to do instead whenever you suggest what not to do.

8. Have no expectations

Focus on what is present.

Expectations can also lead to depression. Expectations are future-based. They ignore what is present and instead favor the future.

Since the future has not come and never will, you are giving attention to a world that does not exist. For a deeper look at why pain and evil only seem real, check out There Is No Death, No Pain, and No Evil.

You are missing the wonderfulness that exists right now. By continuing to ignore it right now, it will seemingly fade from your awareness.

You will be fully immersed in a world that you can never get to.

Instead of setting expectations on healing yourself or others, focus on what is here now. And yes, I made a song about that too, called Right Now.

9. Keep in touch

Those who are depressed feel alone. Although loneliness itself is impossible, those who are depressed aren’t aware of that.  Checking up with someone with depression will make them feel more loved.

This is the easiest thing to do. It can be a phone call, a text, or even a positive thought toward him or her.

You don’t even have to go out of your way. Keep it simple. A little does go a long way.

10. Follow your heart

This is how to follow your heart.

Everything you ever need to know exists within. You feel cut off from it only because you have the habit of trying to look without.

Every interaction with another presents an opportunity for you to join with that person in perfection.

There isn’t a way to prepare for this. Everyone has their unique perception of the world. The goal is to align with truth so that instead of perceiving, you see truly.

By checking within and following your heart, you will know at any given moment what’s needed to extend and share that love with another.

This is not found in the future, and it does not exist in the past. It is right here, right now. Always.

Ultimately, how to help a friend with depression is also how to help yourself be a better person.

It’s a win-win.

For an easy way to keep your mind in the right place, try The Only Checklist You’ll Ever Need To Maintain Happiness.

The post How To Help Someone With Depression, 10 Easy Steps appeared first on JClay.

Is your family toxic? How can you be sure?

First off, I commend you for even clicking on this article. There are many that would encourage you to remove yourself from the presence of toxic people immediately. You have shown that you want to try a different approach. Or maybe you are in a situation where you can’t get away so easily. Either way, you made the right choice.

By the end of this article, you’ll know how to identify toxic people, how to be free of them forever, and how to always be in a loving environment. Therefore, I encourage you to read to the end.

“If you think you are enlightened, go spend a week with your family.” -Ram Dass

What Makes a Person Toxic?

Before we dive into what you should do around toxic people, let’s get on the same page about what a toxic person really is.

A 2016 article on Psychology Today listed the 8 things that most toxic people in your life have in common. These 8 things are:

• They are not caring, supportive, or interested in what’s important to you.
• They take no responsibility for their own feelings.
• They make you prove yourself to them.
• They make you defend yourself.
• Toxic people are manipulative.
• They are inconsistent.
• They don’t apologize.
• They are judgmental.

To sum it up, a toxic person is an energy vampire. They feed off your “life force” so that they can build themselves up.

Let’s break down 3 of these because all 8 are basically saying the same things in a different way, which is, “I matter more than you.”

1. They are not caring, supportive, or interested in what’s important to you.

Because you can only see through the eyes of your beliefs, you want what’s important to you to be also important to everyone. As a result, you understand that everyone wants that as well for themselves.

Or do you?

Let’s say you’re in a situation where a family member wants a goal for you that is in direct opposition to the goal you want for yourself. This can result in conflict, especially since you don’t understand why they won’t just support you. It is of course, your life.

At the same time, you are not supporting them in the way they want to support you. They feel that they are being selfless because they are “helping” you. Henceforward, you both exhibit toxic behavior toward one another by not being supportive in the way the other wants.

Does that make you a toxic person or just a person with toxic behavior? Let’s come back to this question later.

2. They take no responsibility for their own feelings.

Everyone has met that person who blames everyone else for their troubles. They say things like, “You never support me. You make me so angry. This is all your fault…”

All the while, they never look at themselves.

It can seem very difficult to be around such people because they only think of themselves and never even think to support you. Instead, they just make you angry. It’s their fault that you even get angry at all.

Wait a minute…it seems like you are doing to them what you are accusing them of doing to you.

So does that make you a toxic person or just a person reacting to toxic behavior in a toxic way? You don’t have to answer this right now either.

3. They make you prove yourself to them.

As described above, toxic people want you to prove that you love them by doing something you may not want to do. They want you to support them in some way or even do them a favor. When you don’t, they complain about it saying you don’t care about them. They may even list examples of when they helped you.

Observe what feelings surface in response to the following questions.

• Have your family and friends proved themselves to you yet?
• Do they even have to?
• How do you feel when you ask them for a favor and they don’t come through?
• Do you feel similar to what was described above of the toxic person?

If you feel similar to that of a toxic person, does that make you a toxic person?

The Pattern of Toxicity

You’re starting to see a pattern. A person is not really toxic, they just exhibit toxic behavior from time to time. They are inconsistent in that way, which is one of the listed traits.

It’s also starting to look like you are the toxic person you claim another to be. This is because there is no separation between what you feel and what you experience.

Whenever a person experiences an unwanted feeling, he thinks that separating it from himself will lead to him feeling better. To try and separate it, he projects this behavior onto another thus creating his own enemy in a sense.

This is a major breakthrough because you can begin to see how you’ve also done this. Once you are aware, you can make the necessary changes.

What To Remember About Energy Vampirism

If someone can take your energy, this means that someone can also give you energy. Similarly, if someone can be toxic, this means someone can be a cure.

It is as easy to focus on the energy drainers as it is to focus on the energy givers. Since what you focus on expands, it’s better to focus on the energy givers instead.

Instead of just focusing on the energy givers, what if you could become an energy giver?

A lot of people believe that to give is to lose, but in reality, to give is to receive.

This is why when you project to separate, you still experience what you’re projecting.

You can try this experiment right now.

Give a genuine compliment to someone. Observe their reaction and yours. You would observe how happy they get and how much more happy it makes you.

Now, criticize someone harshly. Ok, you don’t have to do this one. That bad feeling that you felt in your heart shows that you don’t really want to give that because you know that you’ll receive it. And in some ways, just by thinking it, you already have.

Being A Energy Giver, Being the Cure

Check out this shift in perspective.

A toxic person wants to feel better by either taking your energy or making you feel smaller.

On the flip side, an energy giver wants you to feel better by either giving you energy or making you feel better.

The same result is applied, but everybody feels better about it. By being an energy giver, you also receive the energy you gave but in greater amounts. That’s all a “toxic” person wants.

The next time a “toxic” person comes your way, willingly give them that love that they are really asking for. You will have cured them of their toxicity making your environment toxic-free and peaceful.

The Role Your Family & Friends Play In Your Life

In truth, the only toxic person you’ve ever perceived is yourself. Now that you know how not to be toxic, you won’t perceive it in others.

Because your loved ones are so close to you, they can bring up feelings that you would not care to have around others.

What’s special about this is they are reflecting your innermost thoughts. They are showing you what you need to overcome to remain happy. How can a person such as that ever be toxic? They are your savior.

Will you try to see the world another way? Let me know in the comments.

The post How To Be Around Toxic Family & Friends appeared first on JClay.

Let there be light. Have more powerful words ever been spoken?

Words are a form of communication that acts as a link between the non-physical and the physical world. Words are preceded only by their thoughts.

Many religious texts state that the world was created when God said, “Let there be light.”

In many ways, our focus is the light we shine upon all things. And our words are a way to communicate and reaffirm our focus to others. Since what we focus on expands, we give voice to new worlds every day.

Your words are more powerful than you realize.

This is why it is so important to control your words. Else, you may find yourself in a world that you dislike, which was created in your image.

Words Are Meaningless without You

To understand the role that words play in manifesting your reality, take a look at this quote that I love…

Words act as the link between your thoughts and the world. What’s interesting is that neither your thoughts nor your words have to be true for them to be effective in your life.

It’s the repetition that gives them meaning because, to say or even think a group of words, you must first repeatedly give them the focus/attention/light to be worth saying.

Words are meaningless, but what makes the words/phrases important are the meanings that you give them.

Think Before You Speak

It is quite simple to use this to your advantage.

Speak ONLY the words that you would like manifested within your life and it will be.

Similarly, don’t speak words against yourself, others, or anything you don’t want in your reality. Doing so will actually bring these things deeper into your awareness, and ultimately, your reality.

For instance if you want peace, stop using these attack words.

Take this phrase for example, “Don’t eat that or you will get sick.”

By telling another this, you have weakened yourself. Although not in reality, just in your reality.

You have given voice/life/power to sickness itself. You have given it dominion over both you and others by implying that it is something that must be avoided.

Not only that, you’ve introduced to all a world where food also has power over you. You’ve created a separation of foods you should eat and those you should not.

The reason this truly does not weaken you is that you can redirect your life at any time by directly speaking for what you want to experience.

This still may take some “time”, but only because your habits and beliefs have told you that it does.

But remember, your beliefs are just based on these powerful words you’ve said, heard, or read repeatedly. So they can be changed with more words.

Maximize Your Peace by Limiting Your Words

Until you get in the habit of changing your habits at will, changing habits can come with a transitional period. This period can range from a few hours to many years depending on how focused you are on changing the habit.

During this transitional period, there will be many opportunities for you to voice your old beliefs in favor of your desired beliefs. Recognize this for what it is, but don’t give voice to it.

Hold your tongue as they say, if necessary. Since you aren’t sharing these old beliefs with others, they are not being strengthened in yourself.

You would be creating the habit of speaking what you want and not speaking what you don’t want.

By not speaking mindlessly, it makes your words more powerful because whenever you speak, it will be with conviction. Nothing but powerful words will flow out of your mouth. Others will take notice because they know that you have something important to say, else you wouldn’t say anything at all.

Even if what you now said is not yet true, many would regard it as truth. They would hold you firmly to it as well as associate you with what you are speaking. Thus they would join you in the manifestation of your spoken powerful words.

Deceiving Others Deceives Both Yourself & Others

As I mentioned earlier and as you can better understand, words don’t have to be true for them to be effective in your life.

As you’ve grown, you may have even let go of many “truths” because these “truths” no longer served you.

But what is truth and how can you know if something is true?

Truth is something that never changes and is true for all always. A simple truth is that “you are.”

The statement “you are” leaves room for all possibilities.

As soon as I attempt to define you by saying you are this or you are that, I limit what I believe you are capable of. And so I limit what I believe I’m capable of because we are made of the same simple truth.

By speaking what we do not believe to be true and passing it off as truth, we are telling our world and those in it, “Don’t believe the words that are coming out of my mouth.”

This is not necessarily bad. However, if you want to be able to say something and know without a doubt that it will come to fruition, practice speaking only what is and what will be.

The constant connection

We all have had certain people in our lives that when they say they are going to do a thing, they always do it. What’s funny about it is that even if those people didn’t truly believe the words they said, we believed the words enough for them so that they could still make it a reality.

When you are certain with your words and definite in your purpose, others will do the same for you.

We are more connected than we care to realize. What happens within, happens without. When you help others, you are helping yourself because you are creating a world of help. And thus, others will always help you.

When you deceive others, you are deceiving yourself because you are creating a world where deceit is possible. And thus, others will deceive you.

Show Compassion for Others and Their Words

Now that we agree that words are meaningless, don’t take them so personally when they are directed at you. If a phrase irritates or annoys you, it’s only because you’ve given it that meaning to you.

Everyone has not been taught how to use their words properly. Better yet, many have not been taught the effects of recklessly using their words.

You can be that teacher, not by demanding that others change, but by being an example of how to use your words to manifest suitably.

Every effect has its cause. So cause and effect are one.

When someone speaks words to you that you don’t agree with, you can do one of the following two things:

1. Use this as an opportunity to politely share what you believe (or would like to believe).
2. Remain silent and don’t react to what you’ve perceived.

When you react to words whether negatively or positively, you allow words to be your cause. But words are just an effect. They are the effect of thought.

Thought is just an effect of you choosing to think. Therefore you are always the cause. Don’t give away that ability, especially by speaking words that show you are not.

The 5 Ways Your Mind Betrays You & How To Control It.

Remember, You Are

This article can be summarized in one sentence. Speak only what you want.

This can also imply that when you have everything, there is no need to speak.

You get to create a massive world that others share in and are inspired by. Create that world. Use your words wisely.

What do you say to that? Let me know in the comments and share this with someone that will find this just as helpful.

The post Words Are Meaningless But This Makes Them Powerful appeared first on JClay.

Why was making friends so easy as a child, but so difficult as a grownup? Why can’t I just attract awesome, compatible people into my life?

The answers to these questions are actually simple once you’re aware of the reason.

By the end of this article, you’ll be able to start reversing the process of a shrinking circle.

First, let me remind you why having friends is great. Don’t worry, I’m not talking about the Friends Blu-ray set.

Friends can give a sense of belonging and support that will enhance your life tremendously. They are who you get to share experiences with and help each other in more ways than can be described.

The current belief is that the older you get, making friends grows increasingly harder. This is partly true, but for an often-overlooked reason.

Not only will this shed light on your friendships, but on your romantic relationships as well.

The Cause of It All

The simple reason why making friends seems difficult for you is because of how you’ve judged the world. Often these judgments aren’t even based on truth. They are based on opinions that have been retold to you repeatedly by people you already love and/or admire.

For example, you may have said or thought a combination of the following: “I can never be friends with someone that…

• does/doesn’t believe in spanking kids.”
• is in a mixed-race relationship.”
• listens to this type of music.”
• votes for this political party.”
• is friends with this person.”
• does not believe in God.”
• is of another religion.”
• doesn’t have a job.”
• sold drugs before.”
• doesn’t vote.”
• cheated.”
• smokes.”
• is gay.”

Be honest with yourself, how many of these issues have you let either ruin your friendship or prevent new friendships from happening? How many other issues that are not listed above have you allowed to do the same?

There could be 99 things you have in common with a person, but because of that 1 nagging item, you would miss out on a lifetime of joy. Is it worth it?

The Meaning You’ve Assigned To It

Again, the things that are preventing you from making new friends are your conclusions/judgments about the world, which are mostly based on other false conclusions/judgments.

But what would make a person derive such conclusions without knowing all of the details? That thing is trust.

At some point in your life, you’ve trusted someone or something. It could be:

• a rapper named JClay
• the government
• your parents
• a Youtuber
• a teacher
• the news
• anybody

Because you trust this person or organization, you don’t always question their beliefs when they are shared with you.

So when a person that has always been a source of love and truth says something against another, you tend to regard that statement highly in your mind even when you have examples against it.

For example, that source can tell you that all black males are thugs. Even though you know plenty of black males that aren’t, you may still accept this as true while thinking that you just so happen to know the “good” ones. This is one of the ways your mind can betray you.

Before you know it, you’ve created another judgment in your mind that affects how you see the world. As in this example:

• A man that believes snakes are friendly animals will embrace a snake upon discovery.
• A man that believes snakes are harmful creatures will run from or attack a snake upon discovery.

A snake is just being a snake. But the meaning you give to what it means for a snake to be a snake determines how you will interact with the snake.

This is the same for all people (potential friends), places, and things. In a way, everything is meaningless until you define it. Everything you’ve experienced you’ve given meaning to, which influenced what you’ve experienced. Many wonder what’s the meaning of life? It’s whatever meaning you have given it.

After being made aware that this world is created in your image, how will you define things from now on?

The Split That Occurs

When you judge a person or thing, you create a split in perception. Half of this split is for what you have judged against and the other half is for what you have judged in favor of.

Negative thoughts are just the things that you’ve judge against.

Since you become more efficient at whatever you focus on, you will also become efficient at judging or perceiving negativity. Let’s say you thought 1 negative thought today and increased that by 1% each day, in 16 years you would have over 6,000 negative thoughts in your head.

A recent study even found that on average a person thinks over 6,000 thoughts per day. By the age of 16, that’s potentially all of your thoughts. You would be an expert negative thought thinker.

As you may have already realized, all of your thoughts aren’t negative so this is not entirely accurate. Correct. However, over time your repeated thoughts become beliefs. Beliefs are what your thoughts are based upon.

So you may not have over 6,000 negative thoughts, but you would have over 6,000 negative beliefs that influence your thoughts. This means that you would be unable to see anything accurately, especially a potential friend because you are seeing through a belief that may or may not be true.

Splitting Repeatedly

Going back to our split-perception example, let’s say someone sees the world as half good and half bad. After taking another look, he sees that of the good half, another portion of that is bad. So he splits that again and now the bad is the majority. And this continues until he consciously changes his focus.

Mathematically speaking, if 1 thing becomes 2 and is split again & again a total of 6,000 times, a person would barely perceive 1% of all things and people as being good.

No wonder a person isn’t easily making friends when they believe 99% of people are bad/flawed/stupid/any-other-negative-adjective. They see everyone as a potential enemy.

Can This Be Fixed?

To fully understand this answer, you must first understand judgments.

To accurately judge a thing, you would have to know everything about everything with certainty. But if you’re reading this article in the attempt to learn why it can seem difficult to make new friends, you’re already admitting that you don’t know everything about everything with certainty.

With such a flawed perception, how could you accurately judge anything? It can’t be done. You would be trying to teach yourself what you think you already know.

And the only way to truly know something is to live it.

With that said, the way to heal your perceptions is with forgiveness.

Forgive all continuously.

When you forgive your judgments, you can rejoin what you separated in your mind. Instead of feeling like an excluded 1%, you can be a part of the entire 100%.

Try to imagine what it would feel like to go anywhere at any time and not have to worry about anything. It’s a beautiful feeling.

Making friends would be the easiest thing to do. There would be no armor to navigate.

If you’re a movie/television watcher, think about some of the best friendship comedies & dramas that made you truly love all the characters. It was the fact that no matter what they did, their friends would not hold it against them. They would always embrace them with open arms.

You can do this too.

Forgive, forgive, forgive.

Resistance To Forgiveness

You may have some resistance to forgiving certain people for certain things. But remember this.

You’re never mad at a person’s actions, you’re mad at the meaning you gave to the person’s actions.

Since you are the one that gives meaning to everything in your life, you can change that meaning at any time.

You’re probably saying, “Naw, JClay! They deserve punishment.”

Whether they deserve punishment or not, this hurts you more than them because you become an advocate for punishment.

That which you believe in becomes impossible to separate from your life. It will even trickle down into your loved ones’ lives because you will be attempting to extend this belief to them.

The belief in punishment comes with relatives. One of those relatives is fear. You would fear doing what you truly enjoy because you would think there is some form of punishment on the other end.

Again, this is all your creation. You’ve given meaning to otherwise meaningless things.

Let go!

Forgive.

Rejoin all there is. Don’t be a part of the 1%, be part of the 100%. This way you can go to any group and be fully accepted simply because you fully accept the members of that group.

Are you ready to forgive? Let me know in the comments.

The post Why It’s Hard To Make Friends As An Adult, The Math appeared first on JClay.